Priesthill (Zion) Methodist

“centred in Christ, caring for people”

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The flowers are springing up,
the season of singing birds
has come;
Song of Solomon 2v12

How to use this glossary: Each word has two definitions.
The first is a very simple word equivalent, just a phrase or a few words. The second is a more detailed explanation with examples.

Glossary Terms - FUN

A Faithful Word
Not a spark of life in the message, but you couldn't fault the theology.

A Time of Praise and Worship
We don't know what else to do so let's sing some more.

Disillusioned
Not getting what I want from the church and thinking of moving for the fifth time in the last few years. A self-centred misery.

Epistles
The wives of the apostles

Gifted
Anyone who thinks they can do something.

Give Thanks/Say Grace
Usually before meals. A Prayer uttered that has little to do with a genuine gratitude, especially if the meal resembles a cremated ferret or an aerial view of a farmyard.

God Led Me to do Something Else
(Usually said when one sleeps in, is watching TV or is going out on a date) No I did not read the Bible, Go to Church, have devotions, attend Bible study, or do anything I was supposed to do.

God Really Blessed Me and Helped Me With my exam today
I didn't study but prayed really hard and passed the test today... I am going to give God credit so He will do that again.

God Wants to Prosper You!
Give me all your money.

Good Things are Happening/God is Doing Good Things
Intended meaning: "There's this activity/Bible study/ministry going on, and we'd like you to know that God is using it to further his work." Actual meaning: "We have things going on at our church/ministry, but I'm too lazy to be specific. Just please come, or please pray, because honestly, even though I'm too inarticulate to tell you what they are, good things ARE happening."

Have a Heart For
While this is not a biblical phrase, it just sounds more spiritual than saying that someone has a preference or an aptitude -- or -- simply that someone loves to serve or is motivated to service. Heart, however, is a biblical word, referring to the centre of human mental and moral activity, both rational and emotional. In the ancient world, people did not realise that the brain was the centre of mental activity. They believed that emotion and thought were housed in the heart or liver. It is still popular to refer to the heart, metaphorically, as the centre of emotion or motivation. But using the word heart in every other sentence can leave some people feeling as though they are swimming through a vat of sentimental

I don't feel led.
Can't make me.

I love you in the Lord
I love you in the Lord because that's the only way I can.

I say this in love
I am just about to bomb you verbally. You threaten me, I don't like you and I've wanted to say this for a long time. I've never met you before, but I've heard a lot about you.

I will be praying for you
There is a remote chance between Monday Night Football and the Late Show, I may remember I should pray for something, but I probably won't remember what.

If it be God's will
I really don't think God is going to answer this one

In conclusion . . .
I'll be done in another hour or so.

Irreverent
Anything noisy, colourful or enjoyable. "I'm quite sure God wouldn't like it, and even if he does, I don't." Anything that disrupts the precision and predictability of a service or causes reality to rear its ugly head.

It's good to see you, brother!
Intended meaning: "We are all brothers in Christ!" Actual meaning: "I can't remember your name!"

Let's have a word of prayer.
I am going to pray for a long, long, long time.

Lord willing . . .
You may think I'll be there, but I won't.

Monogamy
A man should have only one wife. This is called monogamy (monotony?).

Really Committed
We like it here and the people are really nice so we're staying on at the moment.

Sharing
Talking to one another occasionally.

That's not my spiritual gift.
Find someone else.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.
I'm totally clueless.

Unwise
It's never happened before and we will do everything to make sure it doesn't happen again.

We have an awesome singles ministry
You're cute! Do I have any chance of a date?

We need someone to minister in the nursery
If you do not want screaming babies in the sanctuary during sermon... volunteer!

Xylophones
Instruments played by angels when their harps are in for repair.

You just have to put it in God's hands.
Don't expect me to help you.

You would love my church
Why should I have to suffer alone?